Today, at 12:30 in the morning, I woke up to walk the Bergers to the train station. As we said our goodbyes, I felt the usual sadness of seeing fabulous visitors leave. As the train was not scheduled to leave for half an hour, we walked back toward Sila, leaving the Bergers at the station. It occurred to me that, while literally the Bergers left and we stayed, we are actually the ones leaving again. They are returning to the normal world while we continue sailing. It always feels like we are leaving people onshore, waving at them over the stern, both metaphorically and literally.
At the beginning of this adventure, Mama and Daddy said that we would go for at least two years and then start thinking about what might come next. Now that those two years have just ended, and we have as much as two more potential years of sailing, it has occurred to me that I might soon be the one to stand on the wharf and wave as someone else sails off. Seeing off the Bergers made me think about watching another person depart on an adventure while I stay behind, feeling jealousy, sadness, happiness for the adventurers, or some other set of feelings.
I cannot say that I want the time on Sila to end, but I certainly do not despise the thought. While the things that I love about life on Sila are too many to list, there are a few things lacking. For example, I miss living in a set place where the relative position of a friend's home and my home does not change. As much as I like doing only two or three hours of school everyday, the seven-hour school day is surprisingly appealing to me right now. When we lived in Leadville, school was a drag but I did not realize how great it was to spend so much time with other kids. Now, when English-speaking kids are few and far between, I think wistfully of the dozens of kids with whom I spent school hours.
I am sure that when we do move ashore, I will wish we were still sailing around the world. I am just as sure it will be nice to return to the normal world, at least at the beginning. For now, I am the person waving over the stern to people on the wharf. -Porter
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