Masher of the House

On Sila, we eat a lot of potatoes. I don't really like potatoes unless they are mashed. We agreed that I am the best at making mashed potatoes. I have been listening to the music from Les Miserables a lot in the last few months. Since I listen to that music and I mash the potatoes, it is fitting that I am called the "Masher of the House." I wrote these lyrics about myself.

Masher of the House

~ A song by Jack Rabbit Barnes to the tune of Master of the House from Les Miserables ~

Welcome diner

Sit on this chair

And meet the best

Cooker that cares

As for the wine

Throw it away

You’re here to dine

On just what we say

Rarely will you eat

Any yummy meat

So eat our potatoes

They're what we feed

Masher of the house

Smash that little spud

Put in cream and pepper

And then mix it up

Then stir it in the pot

Cook it a bit more

When you eat

The smell drifts out the open door

Glad to mash up a good meal

Doesn’t cost me any thing

Nothing gets you nothing

Every flavor's got a little zing

Masher of the house

Keeper of the cook

When we give potatoes

People want a look

Dinners almost here

Serve potatoes hot

Give them spuds

And they’ll look like they’ve just been shot

Everybody loves potatoes

Everybody eats with me

Just smashing some potatoes

Is not entirely what it needs

Masher of the house

Spatula's the tool

Mix, mash, and stir potatoes

'Til they look like gruel

Grasp the pot handle

Smash it til its dud

Tastes delicious even though

It looks like mud

Good mashed potatoes are the best

I'm everybody's favorite chef

I mashed the good potatoes

so they really really really are the best